June 25, 2024
What Is a Postnatal Plan and Why Does It Matter?
In our previous blog we looked at why the postnatal period is so important, yet has been so neglected by society today. Individuals face challenges in nurturing and honouring this period and valuing it for what it truly is…a time of change, rest and recovery. The initial postnatal period solidifies the life changing events that have just taken place…the birth of a new human being! There is as much a need to plan for this as for the birth itself. So where to begin?
How to Start Making Your Postnatal Plan
If we give the same level of attention to the postnatal period as we do labour and birth, we can experience the joy and take on the challenges of motherhood and parenthood better equipped. Making a postnatal plan is a logical way to explore what you want, what your support will be and what your priorities are for the postnatal period.
Ask yourself:
- What do you want your start in parenthood to look like for you and your partner?
- Is it in your own home?
- How can you make that space the best possible environment for you and your baby?
- Who do you want around and also, who do you not want around?
- What will you need to keep yourself comfortable at home and to not have to worry about leaving the house?
- Can you outsource help? Either paid (ie. a postnatal doula or a cleaner) or unpaid from family and/or friends?
As discussed in the previous blog, using the five elements of the postnatal period as described by Heng Ou, you can explore the issues that matter to you most and the ones that can offer you the nourishment and recovery space needed for you and your family.
The five elements
- A quiet safe retreat
- Healing warmth and nourishing food
- Help and support
- Plenty of rest
- Moments of ritual
Creating a Quiet and Safe Space to Recover After Birth
Whether you’ve had a home birth or hospital birth you will have just experienced a momentous, life changing experience, and the first time when you slide into your own cosy bed should feel magical. At a home birth your midwives can set up your bedroom space to be a little haven to return to once you have birthed. If you have birthed in hospital you may want to have someone at home getting this ready for you. Little things like clean bedsheets and some absorbent bed pads can go a long way. It’s possible that you may have left in the middle of the night in labour and making the bed was the last thing on your mind. This is where trusted friends and family come in. Or you can send your partner home ahead of your discharge from hospital/birth centre, so they can get this ready for you. Preparing a list of things to ensure your comfort will help guide your partner and/or family to best support you after giving birth.
Nourishing Food and Healing Warmth in the Postnatal Period
Birthing and feeding a baby are thirsty work. Having nutritious dinners on standby is so helpful. It’s easy for us to turn to junk food when we are overtired and have little to no time to shop and cook. You could start by batch cooking your favourite meals and freezing portions in the last few weeks of your pregnancy. Fill the cupboard with healthy snacks (and treats!) and perhaps order in a supply of fresh fruits to compliment those snacks. If family and friends are offering their services or are coming to visit, make sure they don’t come empty handed – people generally want to support new parents, but don’t always know how.
What Should You Eat After Giving Birth?
Nourishing foods for rest and recuperation involve a well balanced diet and you will reap the benefits if you are able to achieve this in your postnatal period, but it will require some pre-planning. As dietician, Lily Nichols tells us:
“You might be surprised to learn that nutrient needs in the early postpartum phase — and especially while breastfeeding— are higher than while you were pregnant”
Protein sources that include omega 3, good fats and are high in iodine all contribute to healing tissues, milk production and baby’s brain development. So fatty fish, nuts/seeds, beef, and eggs can help both you and your baby thrive in this postnatal period. Soft cooked veg (easier to digest than raw veg and salads) and well-cooked grains that stabilise blood sugars and replenish your energy, will balance out meals giving you everything your body needs to feel good and nutured. As I prepare for the birth of some of my friends’ babies I am starting to note what culinary skills I will utilise to help them in their postnatal covery. Lily Nichols has a selection of recipes available on her website exactly for this purpose. Perhaps directing some of your friends and family to this page will help!
If the thought of cooking and finding the right food is a challenge then you may want to try a meal subscription. There are so many different companies offering healthy meal subscriptions to aid you on this part of recovery.
‘Hold the mother…not the baby’
Managing Visitors After Having a Baby
Visitors can either enrich your experience or create tension in your postnatal bubble. So inviting visitors at a time when you want them is important, but again this may be easier said than done. The postnatal period can be unpredictable in the sense that both you and your baby and partner are going through a period of adjustment that has a physical and emotional impact. In short, it is a bit tricky to do any kind of planning to accommodate visitors. So perhaps setting a rule where the first 7- 10 days you don’t have visitors or restrict visitors to one person whose role is to support you and your partner to be able to care for your own baby yourselves. This may come in the form of cooking, cleaning, holding the baby when you need to shower and returning said baby after!
Restricting visitors initially can offer major benefits to your baby’s well being and regulation as being passed around visitors has been shown to influence and disrupt their sleep patterns, feeding and their microbiome.
The reason for addressing this issue before birth is because new parents often express their upset and frustration at visitors turning up unannounced. There can also be an expectation from visitors that they will get to meet the new baby very soon after birth. So questioning what might happen if your boundaries aren’t respected and recognising that other people’s feelings are not your responsibility is really challenging. This may be where your partner comes in. Having this discussion during the antenatal period is the perfect time for this, and setting those boundaries with family and friends may be useful. It may be that you send a text to all friends and family with a clear message about what you need from them at this time, for example:
‘We know you are all very excited to meet the baby, we are keeping visitors to a minimum for the first week / 10 days, whilst we start to figure out feeding and life with our new one and whilst I recover from the birth. We can’t wait for you to meet the baby and we’ll let you know when we are ready!’
‘Listen to hear, not to fix’
How to Support Your Relationship in the Postnatal Period
Partners are relied upon for birth support and are likely to have experienced quite a few sleepless nights too, especially if you have birthed in a hospital. They are often advocating for their loved ones without the full knowledge and depth of the situation at hand and this comes with a lot of emotional stress. So the postnatal period needs to be a time where you can both revel in the joy of your new baby, reconnect and mentally and physically adjust to your new roles. Clear communication is the goal, but accept that you’ll both be sleep deprived and there may be some tensions. You could create lists for the postnatal period for your partner offering useful guidance on areas of home life that are not their usual domain. A second time mum recently shared with us that one of her postnatal requests is every few days bed linen is changed – without her having to ask. Who doesn’t love the feeling of getting into a freshly made bed! It is all about recognising your own abilities and managing expectations we have of ourselves, of each other in a relationship and working out what our families and friends can offer. If you like things done in a certain way then communicating this before you give birth will help manage expectations and frustrations that emerge within relationships. Bear in mind that it may also be a time where you will need to adjust your own expectations if your partner doesn’t do something exactly as you would but still gets the job done.
The UK has some of the worst parental leave and your partner may only actually have two weeks off following the birth. So consider who could come and support you after this time period. Even if your partner works from home the needs of you and your baby continue past this two week period and your partner will be unable to give you the support you need and meet the demands of their job simultaneously.
It is a really challenging time for relationships as where you were once a duo now you are a trio (or more!). Biologically you are designed to focus very much on your baby in order for them to thrive and your relationship with your partner takes a back seat. But if you have taken the time to talk about expectations and have identified likely challenges and emotions that may come of this, then you can both find connection in the ups and downs of it all. This is important for your relationship in the long term.
Rest and Sleep With a Newborn: What to Expect
You may have also heard the phrase ‘sleep when the baby is sleeping’. Achieving this is a big challenge for parents, whether it’s your first or you have toddlers running around or older children seeking your attention. You might not realise it now but there is definitely a difference between resting and sleeping. Quality time with your thoughts, with your healing body and with your partner can also be of huge value to your postnatal recovery.
There is an unrealistic expectation in society that a newborn baby can be placed into a routine that seamlessly fits in with our lives; eating and sleeping in line with what we already do. What might be more helpful is to try and understand how babies function and that this is a 24/7 situation! Babies have very different sleeping patterns compared with us adults. Newborn babies will sleep for approximately 2- 4 hours at a time. They are much lighter sleepers and, due to their smaller stomachs, they require feeding often. This is a normal pattern of feeding and sleeping that most newborns will display in the postpartum period. In addition babies will want to feed overnight and this is due to the milk production hormone peaking in the early hours of the morning. Therefore between 1am and 5am you might expect to see your baby awake and keen to feed. So mentally preparing with this knowledge in mind may help you to understand how and when to get the sleep and rest that you need.
Breastfeeding Support: Planning Ahead
Thinking about your intentions to breastfeed and knowing how to seek additional support can be part of your postpartum plan too. In East Kent there are a number of local feeding support groups available, it is just knowing where to look. In addition you might want to seek out specialist support in the form of a session with a certified lactation consultant (IBCLC), pre and/or post birth. You’ll find these specialists across the country. Friends and family are always looking for gifts so maybe add this to your list. It makes for a really useful alternative to clothes that they grow out of before the next feed!
Postnatal Rituals to Support Your Recovery
In our busy lives, learning to slow down can be a big challenge and often our society faces burn out. We forget the things that matter most and offer grounding to ourselves. As a result we have lost sight of these ritualistic practices that bring us moments of peace and reflection. And now a baby really does just throw it all up in the air! The postnatal period could be the time to bring that back in. Perhaps continuing with affirmations that you used as a labour tool, keeping the playlist you had for birth. Taking comfort in the quiet when you are alone with your baby.
Ask yourself what new rituals can you find in your postpartum experience. These need not be big things, small and things carried out with good intentions count too! Here are some examples to help you along the way.
Energising rituals
- Spending time outdoors – even if that’s just five minutes in your garden, on a balcony, or outside your front door
- A short walk around the block
- Short stretching sequence – find one online, or just stretch your body in a way that feels good
Reflective rituals
- 5 minutes of journaling your thoughts and feelings
- 5 minute meditation – you could use an app to guide you
- Affirmations – e.g. ‘My baby and I are learning together’
Calming rituals
- A warm bath or shower to unwind before bed
- Placing a few drops of essential oils on your pillow before settling down
- Having a comforting cup of tea or coffee in your favourite mug
Making a postnatal plan can really bring in the nourishing and nurturing care and support you might need to enjoy your postpartum period. There is no right or wrong way of doing this but we hope these pointers help you put pen to paper. Click the button below to download our free, printable postnatal plan template.
Read – The First Forty Days by Heng Ou
Listen – The Great Birth Rebellion podcast, ep. 40 Planning a powerful postpartum with Lael Stone and ep. 63 How to give great postnatal support.
Follow – Megan Rossiter @birth_ed