I had never even considered I could have a home birth as it was my first pregnancy. It was a screening of a documentary of “Birth at Home” at our local cinema, hosted by Juno Midwives and two local doulas that truly opened my eyes. As soon as it finished I knew I wanted to home birth and I believed I could do it. Even when most of my friends and family smiled gently saying “well you can plan but..”, or “good luck with your inevitable transfer to hospital” or “with your first? That’s brave!”.

I started to think I might be a bit naive but I made sure I did my research. And one thing Juno midwives did from the off was completely leave the decisions up to me. Nothing forced, everything explained in terms of hospital policies vs NICE guidelines and I actually felt pretty empowered. I no longer felt like a passenger in a system where I would people please but could assess everything offered to me and question it. Quietly, I started to put the trust in my own body and instincts and declined some of the “routine” procedures. I had NHS care up until 37 weeks when Natasha took over. Our appointments happened at home, on the sofa which built a truly trusting relationship. The pool was dropped off, the gas and air and a tens machine stayed downstairs. My partner and I did a hypnobirthing course together and I spent time preparing myself with affirmations and long baths listening to the hypnobirthing tracks.

I sailed passed my due date and my anxiety went up, but Natasha’s didn’t. She just kept reassuring me I wouldn’t be pregnant forever. Week 41 came, then plus one, then plus two, then plus 3. The constant messaging from well meaning friends and family was extremely testing and many anecdotal mentions of an inevitable induction Those few days were really trying and emotional. On day 4, out for a walk, I bumped into Natasha and wryly said “I don’t think it’s going to be tonight”. Another 10 minutes of walking and my back became so painful so I decided to head home. By which point I was having cramps. At 4.30ish I bounced on my ball watching episodes of Motherland and excitedly said to my partner “I think I might be in early labour” who was pottering round the house and did a last minute dash to Tesco.

By 10pm everything had ramped up pretty quickly and I was pacing the house with the tens machine on and breathing it out. I asked Natasha to come thinking she may just arrive, check in, and go home and leave me to it. But my contractions were intense so she said she wasn’t going to leave and asked my partner to fill the pool. Things continued to ramp up and I couldn’t seem to get any relief between surges, I used gas and air and side lay on my bed. I was desperate to get in the pool to be weightless and it was such a relief when I did. I laboured most of the night in the pool, contractions coming thick and fast. I was mostly unaware of Natasha and her second midwife Frances. I didn’t have any internal examinations, no cervix measurements, I was just left to my instincts. My partner was by my side the whole time, reading letters from friends, Natasha every now again asked to listen to the baby with the doppler and in between surges would encourage me to rest. With each surge all I remember hearing were reminders to breathe and that I was doing really well.

Eventually Natasha told me to feel between my legs, the baby’s head was there, it was such an amazing feeling that things were happening. My labour started to stall a bit, we later learned my baby was back to back and taking a long time to turn. I had drank an awful lot but hadn’t emptied my bladder. Natasha gently suggested a walk to the bathroom and trying to wee might just get things going again. As soon as I sat on the toilet the urge to push was overpowering. After a little while on the toilet Natasha asked to listen in to baby and as she did she sprung into action. Turns out the baby was very much on the way out. Natasha and my partner lifted me off the toilet and helped me onto all fours. A few more pushes and some excellent encouragement from Natasha and Frances I stayed in the zone, focussed on their words and they passed my baby boy between my legs and my partner and I held him together on our bathroom floor. We all walked through to the bedroom where Frances had already prepared the bed with plenty of cushions where we had loads of skin to skin. Natasha and Frances cleaned up, cleaned me up, helped deliver the placenta and were so calm. I had a second degree tear and a postpartum haemorrhage of 600ml*, but everything was dealt with in my room, no transfer to hospital was needed. It was dreamy. We all had coffee and flapjacks while they finished up the notes and my partner and I just lay in bed and marvelled at the incredible, powerful home birth I’d just had. With my first baby!

*NB from Juno: a blood loss of 500ml – 1000ml is considered a minor postpartum haemorrhage (PPH). Some women and birthing people can have minor PPH and be completely unaffected, others may be symptomatic – everyone is different. Continuity of carer, combined with good midwifery skills, plays an important role in distinguishing between those who are unaffected by a PPH and those who need further care.